As part of the coursework for the Year 9 GATE Academic Excellence Course, students were tasked with developing and writing a feature article on a topic of interest within the College or the local community.

Students excelled and reported on a range of engaging topics within the College and the wider community. Alizah’s article was one particular stand-out article.

Disagreeing with our own upbringings.
By Alizah Qwek

“Don’t touch the baby.”

That was a parenting tip from the 1910s. That decade, Mother’s Day became an official US holiday.

In the 20s, Mother’s Day in Australia became increasingly popularised. Another parenting tip from that time included shaking hands with their baby in the morning.

Yet another piece of advice in the 30s suggested that a baby should be toilet trained immediately after birth. This came from a pamphlet published by the US government.

Throughout history, parenting advice has been prevalent. Here are some examples:
– Pregnant women should not listen to the radio at loud volumes, as they could get too excited.
– Showing a baby love would only make it grow up to be a socialist!
– Listen to Mozart while the baby is still in the womb.

Nowadays, modern parenting includes gentle parenting, which is often characterised by a collaborative relationship between parent and child, raising children without blame. However, critics note that some aspects of this style (including extensively validating emotions) aren’t always practical, nor effective for discipline, especially in early years.

It also includes helicopter parenting, featuring excessively overprotective and over involved parents. This is often considered a negative approach as high involvement often harms children’s psychosocial adjustment.

To add a final example of modern parenting, there’s elephant parenting. This is often considered the counterpart of tiger parenting (side note: there’s an article about this, published on the Carey website in August 2021). There’s a focus on parents highlighting emotions rather than academic or athletic achievements. On the downside, there’s a possibility of children becoming too parent-dependent.

So what are the results of modern parenting?

Well, if we look at Year 9 students’ responses to “What did you do for Mother’s Day”, there have been varying responses. From, “All my mum wanted for Mother’s Day is for the house to be clean, and I failed,” to “I went shopping with my mum, as planned. It was quite expensive but it was worth it.”

A respondent reflects, “My mum didn’t like what I made her.”

Yet another regales a tale of flowers, soap and Yo-Chi.

One student states, “Uh, nothing.” She then adds, “Oh wait, we had pancakes.”

In a time where accessibility to other people’s opinions (in this case parenting) have become very easy, it’s no wonder that there’s a huge diaspora between responses, as parenting approaches are reflections of situational influences.

Most notably, the use of radio, then to television, then to social media, has led to children buying into more contemporary culture than their parents. Additionally, newer parents tend to correct the way they were raised, to create a better upbringing for children.

So when you combine these two factors together, with social media bringing in comparisons with families you don’t even know, some ask themselves, “Why is my mum like that?”

So when we are quick to condemn our mum (or parents in general), we should look at our environment, and try to see where they’re coming from. To see what their experiences were like.

But most importantly, understand that our mothers aren’t perfect. Whether biological, or fulfilling a maternal role, they make mistakes. But they’re still there, trying their best, at every step of the way.

And that is precisely why we celebrate them on Mother’s Day.